The Power of Our Words
Our words can make or break a child's interest. Say, "You have just five minutes to finish your essay," and watch the stress levels spike. Instead, try "You have a whole five minutes to share your amazing ideas," and feel your child’s energy relax into determined focus.
Imagine we're starting a game. Mention "game," and most kids are all in. But mention the word "test," and watch them squirm. The trick? Sometimes, we just don’t use those loaded words. Maybe we don't announce an upcoming activity; we just jump right in with, "Let's see what we can discover," or "Check this out." Notice the words you use and the effects those words have on your child.
Imagine speaking with your child with positivity and optimism. Like a plant, the more positivity sunlight they get, the better they grow. That little hit of 'feel-good' dopamine when we're upbeat? It's nature’s method of making sure we pay attention and remember stuff better (Berridge & Robinson, 2003). And when we’re optimistic about tackling new things, it’s like we’re telling our brains, “Hey, this challenge? It’s just a level-up game, not a roadblock!” (Dweck, 2006).
This approach fosters resilience, as optimistic framing helps kids view challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than insurmountable obstacles (Seligman, 1990). Moreover, when we paint the picture of learning with optimism, we’re not just teaching facts; we're nurturing future-oriented thinkers who believe in their ability to shape their own outcomes (Snyder, 2002).
Bold Actions
Sprinkle your conversations with frames that build intrigue and understanding. Instead of telling your child to study vocabulary for a space unit, frame it with a purpose: "To grasp the Challenger shuttle tragedy, you need to know the parts and what went wrong." This approach doesn’t focus on avoiding "tricky words" or test anxiety; but rather presenting learning as an engaging, essential part of their world.
Try These Frame Starters:
I’m showing you this because it's a trick I use all the time, and it's super handy!
This will get you closer to your goal, because knowing this... opens up doors.
I feel so much better knowing this because…
You might find this meaningful, if you consider…
I use this information in my everyday life when I …
We're tackling this now, so later on, when you're in that woodshop class, your build will turn out the way you want it.
How might this be valuable to you? This is why I think it’s valuable…
In the end, we want our kids to leap into the activities they do, not just because they have to, but because they see the value in it for themselves. By framing with relevance and a dash of excitement, we're not stuffing in irrelevant information, but rather giving kids the lens to create their own meaning.
Reflection Stop
Imagine it’s a hectic morning. Lunches need packing, emails are buzzing, and you've just asked your child—for the umpteenth time—to put on their shoes. Amidst the chaos, stop to consider why you’re rushing, why you’re prioritizing certain tasks, or why your child should care about tying those laces?
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