Leverage
Timing is everything: Harnessing your child's inner clock
It’s about that time of the year when the newness of the school year is wearing off and we’re starting to see and feel the push-back, the resistance. Ten-year-old Eli had big ideas and endless imagination. But weekday mornings? They were a battlefield. Getting dressed ended in tears. Breakfast was a fight. Math homework was met with total shutdown.
His parents thought maybe he just didn’t want to try hard enough. Maybe he was being oppositional. Or just not motivated. But then one day, something shifted.
One afternoon, around 4:30, after a long walk and a snack, Eli was sitting at the kitchen counter when his mom, Keisha, gently asked if he wanted to take another crack at the same math problem set he’d refused that morning.
To her surprise, he nodded. And then he did it. Not just finished it, but stuck with the hard problems. He even seemed proud of his answers.
It wasn’t magic. It wasn’t bribery. It was just later in the day. Same kid. Same math.
Different time. Completely different outcome.
Keisha looked at him, and something clicked: What if it’s not about effort? What if it’s about rhythm?
If you’ve ever felt like your child “should” be able to focus but just…can’t, it’s not a failure of effort, yours or theirs. And it’s likely not laziness.
We live in a world that tries to fit kids into tight schedules, regardless of when their brains are actually ready to work. But kids aren’t machines. They’re rhythmic, biological and beautifully varied.
Just like adults, kids have natural peaks and dips in their energy and attention. And when we don’t account for that, everything feels harder, for them and for us.
So if mornings are a mess…Or your child comes alive right before bed…
Or they seem “all over the place” from day to day…You’re not alone.
You’re noticing their chronotype, their internal clock. And that awareness is a gift.
Instead of trying to manage time, we can learn to manage energy.
When we align the tasks of the day with our child’s natural rhythms, we reduce resistance and unlock focus, joy, and flow.
Let’s break it down:
LARKS
These early birds wake up bright and ready to go. Their brains are sharpest in the morning, perfect for math, writing, or problem-solving.
Support them by frontloading the hard stuff and letting afternoons be lighter or more creative.
OWLS
These kids hit their stride later in the day. Mornings may feel like molasses, but give them space and by late afternoon or evening, they’re on fire.
Support them with soft starts and save deeper work for later, when their brains are primed.
THIRD BIRDS
The shape-shifters. They fall somewhere in between and their rhythms often evolve with age or season.
Support them by watching for patterns and staying flexible. Don’t assume what worked last semester still fits now.
BOLD ACTION
Observe energy patterns. When is your child most focused? Most distracted? Start noticing.
Tweak timing. Even small shifts in schedule can have a big impact on how the day feels.
Stay curious. Chronotypes shift, especially in adolescence. Keep the conversation open.
REFLECTION STOP
When in the day does your child click in most easily? What’s one activity you could shift to meet them there?
The genetic temperament trait you are referring to is the body clock Regularity. Some kids you can set your clock to and others you couldn’t set a calendar to. Each day is the same rhythm for about a third, a third each day is different and a third varies either regular or irregular. These kids may also vary their energy during the day. Only about 30-40% are regular with their energy flow every day.