Mindset Magic, Part 2
Finding your power
Where's Your Power?
Internal Locus of Control: Imagine you're the captain of a ship. You're steering the wheel, and while the sea might get rough, it's you who navigates through the storms and finds the way. Kids with an internal locus of control feel like they are in charge of their destiny. If they study and work hard, they'll reach their goal.
External Locus of Control: Now, picture being a passenger on a ship where you can't get to the helm. The ship tosses you around as it wants; the direction it goes feels out of your hands. If there's a storm or if the ship doesn't reach the destination, it's because of the sea, the wind, or the captain, but not you. Kids with an external locus of control feel that their life is mainly controlled by outside forces, like luck or other people's decisions.
In simple terms, having an internal locus of control is like believing you're the author of your own story, while an external locus of control is like thinking you're just a character in a book someone else is writing.
An internal locus of control is incredibly empowering for kids. When children believe they are the primary agents of change, they understand they have personal power and agency, which can lead to several positive outcomes.
Kids with an internal locus of control are more likely to:
Take Responsibility: They recognize that their success isn't just about luck or what others do but also about their efforts and dedication. This can lead to increased accountability and a stronger work ethic.
Handle Stress Better: They're likely to see challenges as tasks to be managed or problems to be solved rather than insurmountable obstacles. This problem-solving attitude can reduce anxiety and increase resilience (Weisz, 1990).
Stay Motivated: These kids tend to be more self-motivated and driven because they believe their actions can directly influence their achievements (Skinner, 1996).
Achieve More: Research has consistently shown that students with an internal locus of control achieve more academically because they engage more fully with their learning process (Findley & Cooper, 1983).
Develop Higher Self-Esteem: When children see that their actions lead to positive outcomes, it reinforces their belief in their abilities, thereby boosting self-esteem (Bandura, 1997).
Improve Problem-Solving Skills: They're more likely to think critically and persistently about problems, believing they can find a solution through their efforts (Dweck, 2006).
Become Lifelong Learners: An internal locus of control fosters a growth mindset, which leads to a love of learning and a drive for self-improvement throughout life (Dweck, 2006).
So, fostering an internal locus of control can set kids up for success by instilling a proactive and empowered approach to life.
We're not just passive participants in life but active learners alongside our children. As we engage in this mindset exploration, we learn to identify and label our emotional states.
Brain Byte: Labeling our emotional states is a practice supported by studies on emotional intelligence (Mayer and Salovey, 1997), which highlight the importance of recognizing and understanding emotions in ourselves and others.
Imagine that you’ve just been in a minor fender bender on your way to meet a friend. You get there and tell your story to your friend. Pause for a moment and imagine the details in your head. Go ahead. Actually, think about what you would say.
Now, I want you to tell the story again, but with a tiny change. I want you to tell the story as if it were the most wonderful, marvelous thing that ever happened to you. Go ahead. You can do it…even if you lie just a little. Maybe that fender bender involved seeing a friend from long ago or meeting your future husband.
What did that feel like? Uncomfortable? Silly?
Through this exercise, you might have realized that events are somewhat flexible. Perhaps they even have no meaning. We decide if something is good or bad for us, and these decisions can profoundly affect how we and our children see the world.
Optimism can enhance our well-being and resilience (Seligman, 1991). By reframing our thoughts, we can turn a seemingly bad day into an opportunity for growth and adventure. Next week, we’ll learn how to frame with power.
Paying attention to mindset not only shifts our perceptions but rewires our brains. Neuroscience research (Doidge, 2007) supports the idea that engaging in new thinking patterns can lead to changes in the brain's structure and function, embodying the essence of a growth mindset.
A complete list of references is available on the homepage.