The Path to Good Habits
How to make a habit
This week we are continuing our series on Habits. If you missed last week, here’s a link: HABITS
Let’s continue with four steps to habit formation:
The Cue: Visibility is Key: Think of cues as little nudges or reminders. Like hanging the dog leash by the door, saying, 'Hey, let's go for a walk!' Or, how about a tech basket that becomes the nightly home for all our gadgets? It’s like saying, ‘Time to unplug and recharge ourselves instead.’ And those fruits and veggies? Let's pop them right in front, where they can be the first thing our kids reach for in the fridge. It’s about making the good stuff hard to miss!
The Craving: Attractiveness Counts: Mix and match! How about pairing a must-do with a love-to-do? Imagine watching a favorite show while pedaling away on a stationary bike. Or, maybe writing thank you notes before diving into playtime with a new toy. You might add a dash of sparkle with fancy pens for homework or turn a science project into a costume party. Why not read nestled in a cozy fort? With a sprinkle of forethought, we can make the mundane, magical.
The Response: Ease vs Effort: Place that floss right next to the toothbrush. Keep the soccer gear by the door, ready for action. We’re wired to take the path of least resistance, so consciously pave this path with good habits. On the flip side, tuck away those less desirable choices, like that Halloween candy, making them more difficult to reach. Easy choices, happy life!
The Reward: Satisfaction Guaranteed: In our last post, we talked about moving marbles. There’s something deeply satisfying about moving a marble from one jar to another or ticking off a to-do list. It's like a mini-celebration of achievement. Ever noticed how streaks in games or apps keep us coming back? Let's use that satisfying hit of the brain chemical dopamine!
Kids, too, thrive on this sense of accomplishment and social connection. Being part of a group or class where they're expected and counted on can be a powerful motivator.
The Domino Effect of Habit Formation: A Family Adventure
Imagine we’re all in a game where we're setting up dominoes - the cue, the craving, the response, and the reward. It starts with that first domino - the cue - like those marbles waiting to be moved. It's our gentle nudge, saying, "Hey, let's get rolling!"
Then, there's the spark - the craving. a little whisper of excitement saying, "This is going to be fun!" Maybe it's the anticipation of moving a marble after solving a math problem or the joy of seeing a task completed.
Now, we're at the action station - the response. This is where we dive in and make things happen. It's like our hands are reaching for those healthy snacks on the counter or stepping away from the hidden remote control to do something more active.
And then, the grand finale - the reward. Ah, the satisfaction! It's the click of a marble hitting the bottom of the jar, the feel-good moment of making a healthier choice, or the pride in completing a task.
As the architects of our family’s habits. We're setting up our home like a stage, where the good habits are the stars front and center and the not-so-great ones are waiting in the wings. As directors of a play, we set up scenes that make it super easy for everyone, kids and adults alike, to make positive choices.
We're making it so the healthy choices are the easiest to grab, like a bowl of fruit on the counter, or creating routines that naturally lead to better habits, like a family walk after dinner. Beyond building habits, we create a family story, a journey of shared adventures and small victories. Each marble moved, each healthy snack chosen, each remote left untouched - they're all steps in our journey, shaping our days into a healthier, happier story.
Imagine those dominoes falling in the right direction, one small, satisfying click at a time.
What if it was Easy?
Now that we understand how habits are formed, what kinds of habits do we want our children to build? Let’s start with keystone, foundational habits.
Keystone Habits can serve as chain reactions to help other good habits take hold. Over time positive habits become automatic and that’s the gold because we don’t have to allocate precious brain power (i.e., cognitive load) to make things happen.
What foundational habits do you want to help your child build?
One keystone habit I have is that I make my bed every morning. It might sound like a trivial task, but I’ve found that it helps me feel like I’ve won the day in some small way even before the day begins. It gives me a check the box feeling right at the start of the day. Similarly, getting ample sleep, exercise and daily mindfulness practices help ground the day for success.
What habits might you be able to leverage to make life easier?
Here are a few to consider:
Cooking as a Family Activity Cooking can become a keystone habit for families. It's an activity that involves planning, preparation, and teamwork. Kids become aware of what they are putting in their bodies as parents involve them in meal planning and cooking, turning it into a learning and bonding experience. It not only teaches children about nutrition, but real-life budgeting, mathematics, chemistry and the joy of creating something from scratch. Plus, it's an opportunity for quality family time.
Morning Digital Detox The first hour of your family's day is free from phones, tablets, and screens. This quiet time is spent preparing for the day ahead, focusing on meaningful interactions, and setting positive intentions. This simple change can significantly impact your family's overall mood and productivity by encouraging presence and mindfulness.
Evening Wind-down Without Screens Just as the morning starts, the last hour of the day is also screen-free. This time can be used for family reading, reflecting on the day, or simply discussing plans for tomorrow. This habit not only improves sleep quality but also ensures that your family ends the day connected and at ease.
Integrating Mindful Practices Meditation, breathwork, journaling, a nature walk or just sitting quietly and discussing the day ahead can be transformative. These practices teach children the value of mindfulness and give them tools to manage stress and anxiety.
These keystone examples help build a family culture that values connection, health, and mindfulness. By integrating these practices into your daily life, you're not only enhancing your family's well-being but also teaching your children valuable life skills.
We’ve talked about building positive keystone habits, but what about those less-than-ideal habits we want to eliminate? Tune in next week for ideas on the habits we wish weren’t.
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